Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I Want to Live a Big Life

Lately, I've been thinking about my overarching goal of finding happiness, balance and a big, bold life.  Specifically, of this deep desire I have of living a "big life".  I know, broad right?  I'm actually still not clear on how to define "big" for myself, let alone anyone else.  But I know that's the sort of life I want to live, and when I hear about certain things, or read about people I know who are doing certain things, I sometimes get that feeling, that knowing, that they are living a Big Life.  They're volunteering with UNESCO, they're traveling around Africa, they're taking language classes in France, they're in an amazing graduate program, they're starting non-profits, they're doing tons of humanitarian work.  Hell, they're getting married.  (Okay, so maybe I'm not in too much of a rush to do that last one, but you get the point).

Now usually, when I dwell too much on this "living big" part, I'm left feeling edgy, restless, wanderlust-y and dissatisfied with what I currently have.  Sort of like, wasn't I meant for more than this?  But that's not the case this time and I'm thankful for that because I really do feel that my life has been and continues to be so blessed.  So instead, this time I'm feeling this sense of...anticipation?  Like I know that [even more] amazing things can happen in my life, and that I can breathe life into these millions of possibilities that are out there.  Does that mean I can hop a plane tomorrow and start working at a refugee camp or on a wildlife preserve or somewhere in the Amazon for the next five years of my life?  Does it mean that I can stop applying for jobs this second and just start volunteering my time away (because, as I'm finding, the good, meaningful stuff is often the unpaid stuff, thankyouverymuch capitalistic society)?  Probably not.  And that's okay with me, because I also want my big life to be a balanced life.

So, like the planner that I am, rather than just jumping head first into something that overwhelms every other area of my existence, I'm doing some research and self-reflection (lots of self-reflection), scoping out the territory of opportunities out there and my own needs as well, and finding ways to live Big and Balanced at the same time.

Some questions for you: Am I the only one that ever feels like this?  Know of any awesome international charitable/humanitarian orgs I should put on my research list?  How do you define a "big life" and are you living it?
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