Monday, October 8, 2012

The Oncoming Overwhelm and Why People Should be Nicer to Women

Was it just me, or was last week an "off" week?  Did anyone else feel like that?

It probably started on Saturday.  Some friends and I went to a Renaissance Faire (shut up, you know you wish you were this cool) to, you know, eat turkey legs and people watch, and I was just not with it.  I was with two of my favorite people and just kept feeling like a total spaz.  I was lost in my own head, not really a part of the day.  I felt myself tuning in and out of conversation, thinking about things that had nothing to do with jousting, dirty jokes or palm reading.  The day, in the end, was wasted on me since I just couldn't pull my shit together and rally. 

Then the week began and my work email hosting service bested me in the worst possible way.  What was initially supposed to be the quick task of migrating mail from one host to two others (because I'm stupid and picky and want to use the calendar on one service and the mail on another.  Don't ask.) ended up being me, four hours later, screaming at my computer, close to tears as Nate ignores his work and frantically tries retrieve all the email I somehow deleted from one account and accomplish the fucking impossible by getting it into another account.  I hate my email.  We're still not on speaking terms and my messages are still not where I need them to be.

So there was that.

Then it was just a bunch of other little things.  It was my first week working solo in my part-time position and there's always a learning curve, but the little mistakes made while learning new processes always makes me feel incompetent.  And an author Nate and I love spoke on the same night as the first Presidential debate and we had to choose which to see.  We chose to debate which, after watching it, obviously WE CHOSE WRONG.

Finally, on Thursday things just got weird.  Let me preface by saying I only had one cup of coffee.  One cup.  So there I am, alone in the office, trying to get through a stack of things, listening to Pandora, and I'm positively jittery.  I am giggly and fidgety, dancing around in my rolling chair, lip syncing like I was Milli Vanilli.  I mean, I was having a moment.  And to cap off this shining moment, I got a call back about a pretty sweet job that I applied for.  They want to interview me so yay!  Celebrate!  Fast-forward three hours later and I'm practically crying.  Did something happen, you ask?  Did I get some bad news?  Did I make some horrible misstep at work?  You guys.  Nothing is clear at this point except that I am AN EMOTIONAL BASKET CASE.

And so there I am, no longer dancing, no longer feeling like Milli Vanilli, and I start thinking of the week, of the fact that this overwhelm has been building for days.  I should have seen this coming, right?  And that's interesting, because there's really not a whole lot for me to feel overwhelmed about right now.  So what is it?

Why am I feeling super irrational, super emotional, super just a big fucking mess?

Ohhh, PMS.  You.  Win.

Once I actually realized what was going on, my choices for dealing became absolutely clear.  I cancelled all plans I had for the weekend -- which, unfortunately, included a free bluegrass concert in the park where The Civil Wars were playing -- and told Nate that we were going to take it easy, get out of town, and spend some time together.  I wanted as low-stress of a two-days as humanly possible.  No crowds, no big productions, just peace and quiet and time to let the overwhelm settle, let the hormones run their course.

It's Sunday, and I'm feeling like a brand new woman.

Lessons learned?  Be intentional with your time.  Listen to yourself enough to recognize what it is you need at that moment, and then give it to yourself.

And also, be nicer to women.  We are fucking champions.

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